Straight natural hair guilt

My 4a/4b natural hair is a lot of work. It requires constant moisture otherwise it quickly turns into a tangled mess. It doesn't respond well to shampoo and it also never wants to turn out like the YouTube tutorials say it will. For the most part, I keep it in buns and braids but eventually, even those needs to be taken out *tears*. What do I do after taking off my braids ? I straighten it. I feel very bad doing so, I can hear my sister talk about heat damage (easy to judge when you have 3C curls, please shut up). But I still go through with the frying of my hair. I am lucky my hair is so coarse that straightening doesn't affect my hair too much (so far).

Somewhere in the natural community, a cardinal rule was written that a natural shall not straighten his/ her hair or he/she will will be subject to shame and irreparable heat damage.

And yes, I agree most of the reasons why I prefer my hair straight is because it's just easier. Easier to blend in with my coworkers. Easier to do my hair in the morning, Easier to fit society's beauty standard with long stretched hair. I could go on. But sometimes, truly, it isn't a political statement. I just want to go to bed without worrying about twisting my hair for 30 minutes. I don't want to get pneumonia when working around with wet hair in the Canadian winter. These may still be superficial reasons (except pneumonia, that one is real) but I don't think that having straight hair diminishes my #BlackGirlMagic. Sometimes, a girl just wants options.

Maintaining Braids

Ever since I've become natural, I've mostly kept my hair in braided hairstyles. They are easier to manage, look cute and require little mainipulation. If taken care of, they can last a while and if they start looking frizzy, I pretend I'm Zoey Kravitz and continue to rock them. Here are my tips for maintaing your natural hair while it is in braids:


1. Moisturize - Every monring and night, I spritz my hair with my magic concunction : water + drops of very light oil (apricot, almond, avocado) + few drops of pepermint oil + few drops of tea tree oil. This keeps my hair moisturized while it's mixed with dry plastic synthetic hair. The peppermint oil soothes my scalp and prevents itchiness and leaves a refreshing smell

Note to my fellow minorities following the American Election

On November 9th, we woke up to the devastating news that a reality TV star, known for making racists, sexist and bigoted remarks was going to be the president of the United States. Hillary Clinton had lost the presidency, despite the overwhelming reassurance of the media. On that Wednesday morning, you woke up confused, shattered, shocked, perplexed. The Clinton administration would not erase all the wrongdoing that had been done to us over countless years, you were not naïve to think so. The segregation, the denial of opportunities, the mass shootings by the police, the illegal taking of our lands,  fucking Iggy Azalea, none of that would disappear, you were not foolish to think that. But at least, you did not think we would go backwards. That a person openly supported by the KKK would be voted into office. That a person who is against women reproductive rights would be elected president of the United States. But alas, it happened.

Understandably after such a shock, anger follows, Sadness, despair. I myself cried for hours that Wednesday morning but I  doubled up on the concealer and went to work. I am the only minority in my office. Any day of work missed is much more visible than my coworker's. We do not have the choice but to continue to better ourselves. To continue to prove that we have always been worthy, On Tuesday, we cast our vote. Overwhelmingly in favour of Hillary Clinton and it feels as if didn't matter. But we push through. People fought for our right to vote and have a say in elections. Maybe we do not sway the outcomes of elections as our White counterparts but we will in the future. And for that reason we must continue to vote, we must continue to cast our ballots. We must show our children that their voices matter, because they are our future. We need to de-normalise this new wave of passive racism and discrimination. We need to call out what is not right. Because even tough we are minorities now, they cannot avoid our presence. We are visible, and we are here to stay.

Curly Girls to Follow On Instagram

Amandla Stenberg - Curls served with feminism and a side of of #BlackLivesMatter

A photo posted by amandla (@amandlastenberg) on Apr 10, 2016 at 5:10pm PDT

Ashly D - She posts detailed tutorials with pictures and videos that are straightforward and easy to recreate.

A photo posted by Ashly (@actually_ashly) on Apr 2, 2016 at 11:42am PDT

Diana Veras - Curly hair and a tumblr-like vibe you can vicariously live through

A photo posted by diana veras 🦁 (@mynamesdiana) on Apr 1, 2016 at 2:35pm PDT

Natural Beauty Staple : Apricot Oil

Not the St. Ives stuff. My dermatologist (a salesperson at Sephora) says the beads are just plastic and they're too abrasive on your face and we know salespeople at Sephora are omniscient. 

I have tried many oils in my journey to use more natural beauty products. Coconut remains my favourite because of its multiple uses but it does not work on my face. Almond is a also favourite for my hair but I was looking for one I could use for both skin and hair that wasn't too thick and didn't leave my skin looking extra oily. Enter apricot oil. This oil is so light it absorbs quickly into the skin without leaving a heavy film of oil.

How I use it:

Face moisturizer: After cleansing my face, I rub a few drops of apricot oil between my fingers and massage onto my face, neck, and brow bone which tends to be really dry.

Hair sealant : After I wash my curls, I add a pinch of oil to the ends of my hair to retain the moisture from the water.

Face mask: When I need a quick hydrating mask, I mix a little apricot oil with rosewater, leave the mixture on my face for 20 minutes and rinse it off. The result is amazing, it looks like you just got a facial done

Eye make-up remover: If I'm out of wipes, I simply use this to remove the 100 layers of mascara on my lashes.

You don’t have to love your first job

I’ve been to many graduations and heard countless commencement speeches, some good, some bad. I’ve even heard one inspired by R. Kelly. The resounding message these speakers were giving young adults who are entering a new phase in their life is to “Love what you do!”, or “It’s not work if it’s fun”. This advice is just wrong. In this economy, there are few jobs available. It took me over a year to find employment post graduation. Opportunities are scarce and competition is fierce. Telling people, to only get a job because they love it is just irrelevant in our times.

Workout clothes for cheap

My sister is a health-nut, workout freak who is as passionate about quinoa as she is Lululemon, you get the type. I on the other hand am pretty happy if I've worked out more than two times a week and still don't see the appeal of quinoa (a.k.a fake rice, a.k.a tiny flavourless rocks). One thing we do agree on is that cute workout clothes are a major motivator to go to the gym. While my sissy looks very cute with her matching Lulu gear, there are budget friendly options that can still encourage you to turn off Netflix and get your butt into the gym.

1. Kyodon - This Montreal brand is one of my favourites for affordable athletic wear. Their moisture-wicking pants keep me dry during intense workouts which is a pretty big accomplishment because I sweat a lot. Seriously, I left a bucket of sweat behind on the floor after my last spin class. I buy them at Winners or Marshalls.

A photo posted by #ITALLSTARTSHERE (@kyodanactive) on Feb 3, 2016 at 10:18am PST

How to be a better co-worker

Remember when L.C. and Whitney "worked" at Teen Vogue 

You're finally out of the unemployed recent grad category. You found a new job - maybe it's exactly in the field you wanted, maybe it just pays the bills. Either way, your co-workers are going to be the people you spend most of your day with. Seriously, I've seen our I.T. Bob exponentially more that I've seen my dad in the last few months, and Bob is literally always hiding. Being a good co-worker is essential to maintaining a healthy work environment which in turn leads to increased productivity and a less stressful day (I don't have stats but my personal experience will suffice here). Co-workers don't have to be your friends, however being friendly can improve workplace interactions. I've been working since I was 15 (when is retirement, y'all) and I've made and continue to make many mistakes in the co-worker field. Here are few lessons I learned that helped me become a better co-worker:

1. Always say good-morning - Your parents would be proud and so would the Head Nun from your primary school (again, trust me, from personal experience). A co-worker can see you walking by their cubicle and not saying high as you being rude and already form a negative opinion of you. So say hello to everyone, it cost nothing and takes like 3 seconds out of your day. At one internship I would simply rush to my desk and hide from everyone and I overheard people sayinh I was rude, but really I was just shy and felt like an unimportant intern.

Lush Favourites

1. Ayesha Fresh Face Mask - Yes, I got this product because I'm vain and it has my name but thankfully it was worth it. The second ingredient is honey which gives you a post mask glow whilst also leaving your face moisturized.

2. Retread Conditioner - As a curly haired person with dry hair, I try to use shampoo as little as possible and co-wash my hair with a moisture rich conditioner instead. This conditioner contains yoghurt which adds protein to my hair so it doesn't look brittle. It also contains a few oils (avocado, olive, jojobo) which keep my hair moisturized and leave my curls poppin'.

Weekend in Toronto

Or 48 hours in the 6ix as a Drake fan would say. Toronto has been emerging as a tourist hotspot, mostly thanks to countless mentions from its unofficial president Drizzy. Since I live a couple hours away, Toronto is a great destination for when I want to have a mini-getaway and not break the bank. Here's my 24 hours in Toronto list:

EAT. There are so many great restaurants in Toronto, where to start? I wasn't able to get into Drake's restaurant Fring's but if you know your dates ahead of time try to make a reservation (at least 3 weeks in advance). The food is apparently stellar, the prices seem reasonable and also, major bragging rights. Canoe is a must. It's voted one of the best in Canada. Other favs

Natural Hair Update : Almost 2 years

A lot has changed since my last update six months into my transition. I finally chopped off the last of the perm ends. There was no point having thin, straight strands on my otherwise thicker curlier hair, it just looked odd. It took a while to adjust to having short hair. So much of our identify as women is attached to our hair, I didn't fully realize it until I only had a few inches on my scalp. The day after I did a "mini big chop" my co-workers didn't even recognize me (although I'm the only black person in the office -__-).  I learned to love my shorter hair and now it's back to the same length as before the transition when straight. Here are new things I learned about my hair:

Style Icon: Ayesha Curry

Yes, she does have my name, and yes, we both share perpetual chubby face syndrome (PCFS, it's real peeps) but I didn't choose her because of that. Mrs. Curry (my twin sister) has impeccable, easy to copy style.

A photo posted by Ayesha Curry (@ayeshacurry) on Feb 13, 2016 at 12:05pm PST